TOP 10 MOST ANNOYING Photography Questions I've Been Asked Online (Pt.1)

I've dug through several years of posts, emails, and comments, in order to uncover some of the most annoying questions and requests that anyone has ever asked me on social media.

Caïn by Henri Vidal - Also known as the OG Facepalm. (photo credit: Wikipedia)

In the interest of fairness, I have decided to keep these anonymous, as I am an optimist and like to believe that all contributing parties should probably know better by now.

1 - You have awesome photos, and I am a famous influencer. Will you shoot my event for free exposure?

See my blog on what I think about this question. There's a special place in hell for people like you.

2 - Awesome photos. I'm sure you have a great camera, but have you tried brand 'x'? I heard they were better.

To this day I can't tell whether people asking these questions are a) genuinely curious; b) trolling; c) paid brand ambassadors stirring up crap; d) following the crowd but don't know any better.

I think I must have received about a dozen of these kinds of questions in the last year alone. They seem to pop up a lot more whenever a certain four-letter electronics company is about to release a new camera. It could just be a coincidence, what do I know?

3 - I love the tones in this pic. Whose Preset Pack did you use?

Clearly photography these days is completely devoid of any human skill whatsoever. Every photographer out there is instead buying the latest presets from their favourite YouTuber, slapping them onto their photos and calling it a day.

Actually, hang on a sec...

4 - Can you tell me exactly which settings you use for all your night photography shots?

Of course. All of my night photographs use one super-secret camera setting/lens combination which only I know, and that is the key to unlocking the awesomeness that I post on social media.

No, seriously.

5 - I'm new to photography. Which professional camera do you recommend?

Why go through all the months and years of learning, practicing, and trial & error? I mean, all you really have to do is drop $5K or more on the latest and greatest, and BAM! You're a professional photographer!

6a - Could you send me the RAW version of the photo in your latest Insta post? I want to edit it my way and print it myself.

Why, certainly, my good fellow. Let me share my bread and butter with you. Would you also like to invite all of your friends so we can have a party?

6b - (This is a close cousin of the question above)

We love your last post. Could you please email us a full resolution version (preferably RAW) that we can use on all our social platforms - with credit to you, of course!

This one is always a bit tricky, as there are many genuinely great accounts which are fantastic to work with, and their social media presence definitely helps out both parties.

However, there are also the 'others' who pay zero dollars for any marketing, relying solely on other people on social media to provide them with free coverage and exposure. See my first question regarding what I think of such accounts.

7 - My phone has more megapixels than your camera. Why do you bother carrying around all that heavy gear?

Dunno. I'm a sucker for punishment and I am clearly compensating for something.

8 - Gorgeous reflections, but that is such a waste of water! (when posting a photo taken right after a rainstorm)

I'm sorry, Karen. I will speak to the manager of rain and weather, and make sure they sort out this offence for you.

9 - What flash do you use for your long exposures to make them look so colourful and bright?

Aw, bless!

You know when there's lightning in the sky? That's just me with my Uber-powerful Metz lighting up the city skyline.

10 - Everyone's favourite - Hi sexy! How are you?

I'm very well! I think you must be cold, though, as you appear to not be wearing much in any of your Instagram photos.

I'm also guessing you're vegan, based on all the eggplants and peaches in your bio...

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Happy shooting!